Some thoughts on Stupidity

Those of you who have known me for a while are sure to have heard from me on more than one occasion about the dangers of stupidity.

Talking with a work colleague earlier in the week who is currently undertaking some studies in HR, I was struck again by the dumbing down of our society. More and more these days, I see tests, comments, educational materials, work documentation being aimed at the lowest common denominator. The theory seems to be that in order to ensure that no one is discriminated against, we should lower expectations.

I can't begin to describe how condescending, rude and pointless I find this exercise - but I'm going to try!

For a long time, I've believed that if you tell someone that they are stupid (rude, obnoxious, intelligent, worthless etc) often enough, eventually they will come to believe it - and not only that, they will come to behave in that manner all the time. So, the theory goes, if you constantly structure materials for the lowest common value, you will eventually get a larger cohort of people who believe that that level of understanding is the greatest they can hope for. Why not pitch it towards the upper end of the middle of the scale, and assist those who don't get it?

The idea extends to many other areas of life as well. I was out to dinner with a family very dear to me last night, and the youngest member of the family, Jack, has just celebrated his third birthday. Once again, I was struck by what a pleasant, charming, well mannered (but adorably cheeky), friendly child he is. It occurred to me that a big part of this was to do with his parents expectations - they expect that Jack will be well behaved, will remember his manners and will be a child (I had a delightful conversation with Jack last night about mozzies, flys, spiders and cockroaches - that showed me clearly that here was a child who takes a great delight in his environment!). And he responds to that. I'm sure that from time to time he can have the same meltdowns that any other child has. But the key is - the expectations for his behaviour are positive, age-appropriate and achievable.

Maybe that same theory could be implemented in the workplace. If we expect our colleagues to behave like intelligent, polite and respectful adults, I wonder if they would deliver. I suspect that if you make your expectations clear in regards to what you expect, they will eventually deliver. Of course, as long as you treat your colleagues as incapable, stupid, or show that you don't trust them in some way, my guess is that you're going to get work produce and results that reflect that.

Anyhoo, time to get on with it all!

Till later,

Dee xxx

Love Loss & Life

I’ve been reading a lot of late – of love, of loss, of life.

None of the books I’ve read are remotely alike – there’s Twelve Times Blessed (Jacquelyn Mitchard), Travelling Light (Katrina Kittle), Mad About the Boy (Maggie Alderson), Anne of Ingleside (LM Montgomery) to name but a few – all set in different spaces and times, yet strong with hope and passion.

It’s made me reflect on how these themes permeate our everyday’s lives. Many would say that to live means to love, and to suffer loss, and to a great extent I have to say I agree. From the time we are born, our lives are about the triumphs of love (mum or dad’s hug when baby’s hurt, the first kiss) and the pain of loss.

I read the paper today (The New York Times Online), and I see a refugee has gone on a shooting rampage in Utah (USA) – here was someone who escaped from the horrors of their homeland, who set out to murder people they had never met. We will probably never know why. Was something broken in this young man’s head after years of witnessing violence and despair in his homeland? There are now countless families in that community who must now come to terms with loss and fear – states that seem to be echoed in ever increasing frequency around the world in many homes and communities, and in greater numbers than ever before.

From the time we are born (often from an act of love), we spend our whole lives seeking love, and seeking to give love. What is it, then, that seems to be driving so many more people to violence and hatred? Can this be answered adequately by the (some may say) simplistic argument of the have nots seeking the power and privilege of the haves? I don’t buy it. Does the answer lie in the bigotry, the racial and religious intolerance that seems to seek into every facet of our lives? Perhaps.

I sometimes think that many people forget that the ‘religious wars’ of today (the ideological differences between east and west, the contrasts between Christianity and Islam, the capitalists and the communists) have been fought in differing permutations since the beginning of time. (I’m not going to enter into a discussion regarding when this was BTW – I’m not a scientist, or a creationist, and I’ll stay far far away from the whole ‘intelligent design’ debate thanks all the same!). Tash will no doubt correct my historical accuracy on this …. But … let’s think about a few ‘highlights’ of history: The Viking raids on England, The Crusades, The Cold War …. All about my god’s better than your god (or, my system of government is better than yours!).

There’s a lesson in there about how history repeats itself – but it’s getting away from my topic.

Love, loss and life.

Because we live – we love. Because we love, our losses can cut us to the bone. Because we live, love will help us heal from those losses, and will provide us with the love and support we need to live life to the full.

The books I mentioned back at the beginning show this cycle, with humour, with pathos, with gritty, hard hitting realism. They each explore the fears that today’s society helps instil in each of us (am I thin enough / pretty enough / rich enough), and explore the effect of bigotry on those we love. They do so by gently questioning our beliefs (why is it that an older man who marries a younger woman is “lucky”, where as she’s a gold-digging tramp?) and by challenging us to face the consequences of our fears. Could these books be considered high-brow literature? Nope. Does that diminish their message? Nope.

I’d love to hear what books you’ve been reading lately that have challenged you, or even about the books you have been rereading lately that have touched you or made you think.

I’ve been thinking about love, loss and life in the last few weeks. I’m about to embark on an adventure – I’m packing up my life, and my home, and moving to the other side of the world. And I’ve lost a friend – a powerful, beautiful, intelligent vital woman, lost to the world at the age of 39. I know Aveline will have redecorated her space in the afterlife (I’m sure there’s lots of pink involved, and maybe even a little black!), and will already be organising the all the other blessed souls to rise up and agitate for a better deal. And with the anniversary of another great friend’s death looming, I’m reminded again that though life goes on, it’s splendours tarnished by the holes left by those no longer with us, love keeps those who have gone before us close by.

Talk soon,


Dee